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Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

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toothless

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Horrible Histories presents...

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From 20th-century Germany

18
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,760
comes the musical tale of the
Dassler brothers,

19
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whose conflict changed the world's...

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00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,960
..sports footwear.

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Horrible Historical Musicals
presents...

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00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,680

Herzogenaurach

23
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go fast

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kicks

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Two brothers, whose friendship was
ended when Rudi went away to war

31
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,680
and Adi stayed home to run the
company.

32
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,600
I'm running the company on my own,
while Rudi is away.

33
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,600
Maybe I should always run the
company on my own.

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"No," to sharing.

38
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And so, Adidas shoes were born.

39
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:54,360
But when Rudi returned from the war,
a rivalry was forged.

40
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:58,120
I will create a rival shoe company
right here in Bavaria.

41
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,800
And guess what I'm going to call it?
Yes, what is that?

42
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,040
Oh?

43
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,760
Ruda Shoes. Uh...

44
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,920
How about Puma?

45
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:09,600
Sounds more, "Rargh!"

46
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,240
Hmm? Ja, fair enough.

47
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,000

assume-a

48
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,480

get enough

49
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,680

ain't no threat, yeah

50
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rough

51
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52
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,800
The epic tale of the brothers

53
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whose rivalry created two of the
biggest shoe companies in the world.

54
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55
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58
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60
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The musical with sole.

61
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,360
Mine are still better than yours.

62
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,320
It's true.

63
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:17,440
A rivalry between brothers really did
create two famous shoe companies.

64
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:21,400
A rivalry is when two sides fight it
out for the same thing.

65
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,000
Like Ratchester City and Ratchester
United

66
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,480
competing to be the best football
team in the whole sewer.

67
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:32,480
Or me and Cattus fighting over the
same bins outside the sausage shop.

68
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,080
MIAOW
Oh, I'm watching you, Cattus.

69
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,200
Yes, rivalries have been rife
throughout history,

70
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,000
and they can go on for years.

71
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,680
They can even result in war,

72
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,800
not that those wars end the beef.

73
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,800
William the Conqueror found that out

74
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,720
when he killed his rival, King
Harold, at the Battle of Hastings,

75
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,920
which only made him a powerful new
English enemy,

76
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,200
Harold's mum.

77
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,280
Hello?

78
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,440
I am King William of England.

79
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,120
I know you're in there.

80
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,280
We're not scared of you, William.

81
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:14,560
Guys, seriously, I am not OK about
this rebellion.

82
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,680
I just conquered you.

83
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,440
I'm so peeved, I literally just
poked this guy's eyes out.

84
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,880
There was a whole battle

85
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,920
near Hastings, remember?

86
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,240
My rival, King Harold, and all his
brothers,

87
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,800
were killed or captured. I mean,

88
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:33,640
there's literally no-one else from
the royal family

89
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,240
left to lead you.

90
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,320
Move it, sunshine.

91
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,520
Go away!

92
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,040
Oh, for crying out loud. Look who it
is.

93
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,720
Yeah, I would if you hadn't poked
my eyes out. Oh, sorry, yeah.

94
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,560
It's the old King Harold's mum,
Gytha. Oh.

95
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:58,120
Yeah. You forgot about mummy, didn't
you?

96
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,320
Look, it would be better for
everybody

97
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:05,440
if we ended all this rivalry and you
just surrendered.

98
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,000
So, what do you say?

99
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,320
Why's it all gone quiet?

100
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,000
Hang on. Something's happening.

101
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,120
Oh, I think he's getting his bum
out.

102
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,760
Fire! But why?

103
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,720
BREAKING WIND
Ah! Oh!

104
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,080
Don't worry about it, Your Majesty,

105
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,720
everyone does it when they get
nervous.

106
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,560
That wasn't me, it was them.

107
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:23,960
Oh, sure it was.

108
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That's our answer.

109
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:33,280
The sound of a mother's rage.

110
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:37,560
BREAKING WIND AGAIN
And by the smell of it...

111
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,280
..cabbage.

112
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,080
Oh, gosh that is strong.

113
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,640
BREAKING WIND AGAIN
Ugh!

114
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,600
Maybe you should go and change your
chain mail.

115
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,440
It wasn't me. Do you want me to poke
something else out?

116
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,360
Yeah, can you start with my nose?
Uh.

117
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,800
Hit him again.

118
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,200
BREAKING WIND AGAIN
Ugh!

119
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,000
I know you have them surrounded, but
maybe it's time we retreated.

120
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,920
Yeah, it stinks.

121
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,760
That's right.

122
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,960
Fear our power...

123
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,640
BREAKING WIND AGAIN
..and smell it too.

124
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,080
Oh, I could smell that one from
France.

125
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,520
We'll be back.

126
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,800
Right, that's enough.

127
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,560
BREAKING WIND AGAIN

128
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,040
Oh!

129
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,840
Introducing great historical
rivals...

130
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,280
Hi, I'm Boudicca,

131
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:28,280
warrior queen of the Iceni Tribe of
Britain,

132
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,880
and pain in the Emperor Nero's
backside.

133
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,080
I led a rebellion against Rome and
it went so well

134
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,760
that Nero nearly abandoned his
invasion of Britain altogether.

135
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,400
That would have been great.

136
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:43,160
Sadly, there's something I did that
people say convinced Nero

137
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,960
to keep his armies in Britain and
destroy me.

138
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,080
What was it? Did I...

139
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,400
Well, I did burn down a few of the
Roman temples,

140
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,240
but it wasn't an accident.

141
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,720
So, the answer is

142
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,160
C, I criticised his musical skills.

143
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:13,120
I never met Nero, but I heard his
lyre playing was shocking

144
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,040
and I didn't mind saying so.

145
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,640
It's like listening to an angry cat

146
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,960
complain about the size of the
sardines.

147
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,280
Right, that's it.

148
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:26,200
We will destroy you with the full
might of the Roman legions.

149
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,160
It'd be a welcome relief from
listening to that racket.

150
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,200
Cor!

151
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,800
Sometimes a rivalry between nations
could be ended with love, not war.

152
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,200
And one way of stopping the fighting
was to arrange a marriage

153
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,360
between the two warring parties.

154
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,760
That's what happened here in Ancient
Egypt,

155
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,240
when the Hittite leader, Hattusili
III,

156
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,560
arranged for his eldest daughter to
marry his archrival,

157
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,720
Pharaoh Ramesses II.

158
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,960
It was one of the first peace
treaties in history.

159
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,680
And really, who needs romance when
you've got a war to stop?

160
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,120
Um, can somebody help me down?

161
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,720
I'm afraid of heights.

162
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,640
They say there is a wafer-thin line
between love and hate.

163
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:14,280
So, is it any wonder that when two
warring rivals look for peace,

164
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,800
it is l'amour that shows the way.

165
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,400
Pharaoh Ramesses II is looking for
love,

166
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,960
or an end to war. One of the two.

167
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,720
I hope I like her.

168
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,760
I hope my wives like her, as well.

169
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,120
Hey, do people normally bring their
wives on dates?

170
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,040
Serious question.

171
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,720
You don't mind, do you?

172
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:34,920
Yeah, she don't mind.

173
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:35,960
OK.

174
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,800
His date is the eldest daughter of
the king of the Hittites.

175
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,600
You must be Ramesses II,

176
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,680
my name is... I don't care what your
name is.

177
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,120
Imma call you Maathorneferure.

178
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,600
It means she who beholds the falcon.

179
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,400
That is the visible splendour of Ra.

180
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,720
Yeah, right, I'm wicked with names,
innit?

181
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,400
Is he allowed to do that? I mean, I
know he's a pharaoh,

182
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,280
and I've heard he can do whatever
he likes,

183
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,200
but is he literally allowed to
change my name?

184
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,000
Things are off to a bad start
because,

185
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,680
while Ramesses is Pharaoh of the
Upper Nile,

186
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:12,360
he's, on this occasion, also king of
the utter vile.

187
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,200
You need some oil, babes? No,
thanks, babe.

188
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:18,160
Oh, apologies, my bad. You need some
oil, babes.

189
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,120
Hold on, no, what, what? Stop. What
are you doing?

190
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,240
The oil was there to banish the
netherworld

191
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,320
and keep you safe from evil. You're
welcome.

192
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,520
I know that ditching this date could
restart a war between our kingdoms,

193
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,920
but right now, that seems like a
price worth paying.

194
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,040
Hey, hey, hey. Look, look, look. We
both know

195
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,560
that our marriage is just there to
keep the peace.

196
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,960
But look, let's just put all of that
aside, yeah?

197
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,040
Let's just talk about our hopes
and our dreams.

198
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,480
I'd like that.

199
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,080
So, how much am I getting? Huh?

200
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,040
Think of world peace. Think of world
peace.

201
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,120
It's called a dowry.

202
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,000
Her dad has to give me a load of
stuff when I marry her.

203
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,960
It's a standard thing at regular
weddings,

204
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,320
let alone ones being arranged to end
a war.

205
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,320
Ain't that right? I got bear coins
off of these lot.

206
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,960
So, I get the gold, yeah? Silver.

207
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:08,800
The slaves, the horses and the cows.
Is that all?

208
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,240
And me, of course.
HE LAUGHS

209
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,040
Yeah, of course.

210
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,280
How could I forget that? That's mad.

211
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,320
Imma put you down under the horses.

212
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,160
And they say romance is dead.

213
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,440
OFF SCREEN: So, do you think you'll
see each other again?

214
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,840
Sure. I mean, we'll have to, innit?

215
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,120
If we don't get married,

216
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:30,120
then the war between our rival
kingdoms may well start up again.

217
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,920
Bruh, I ain't got no choice.

218
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,520
The words every bride longs to hear.

219
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,680
Don't worry, babes, we'll look after
you.

220
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:38,800
There you go. Wives, let's go.

221
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,920
You need to learn some manners.

222
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,160
Just ignore him, we do.

223
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,040
Yeah. I'll catch you back at the
palace.

224
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,240
Yeah.

225
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,320
You know, I might have to be back
next week,

226
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,880
because five wives ain't enough.
You know what I mean?

227
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,200
You know what I'm saying?

228
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,480
Cor, what an awful man.

229
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,320
And I thought I was the only rat on
the show.

230
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,040
Still, it's good to see some rivals
putting their troubles behind them

231
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,400
and solving their issues in a
calm....

232
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,840
GASPING
Oi! I knew it.

233
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,760
Cattus has been at the sausage bin.

234
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,200
That is it.

235
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,200
This rivalry has gone far enough.

236
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,920
It's time to settle it once and for
all.

237
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:27,440
And back in history, rivals had a way
of settling things called a duel.

238
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:31,360
It was a one-on-one fight, sometimes
to the death.

239
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,720
And the hotheaded Russian poet,
Alexander Pushkin,

240
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,360
tried to have 22 of them.

241
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,720
Of course, I'm not challenging her to
a duel.

242
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,000
I shall take the more mature approach
to settling our problems,

243
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,640
I'll blow a raspberry and run away.

244
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,160
BLOWS RASPBERRY, CAT SCREECHING
Oh!

245
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,600
So, what do you fancy doing tonight?

246
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,120
I thought we could hang out with
Pushkin.

247
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,640
Oh, really? Pushkin? You know what
he's like. He's a genius.

248
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,960
People say he's one of the world's
greatest poets.

249
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,360
Yes, but he's always starting fights
with people.

250
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,160
You remember what happened with his
uncle?

251
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,520
So I say to this man...

252
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,320
Oh, Pushkin. How lovely to see you.

253
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,480
Uncle, you knew I had feelings for
this woman.

254
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,480
I go to toilet and now you are
ruining my chances.

255
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,120
You are doing that all yourself.

256
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,080
We were just chatting, nephew.

257
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,920
There is only one way to settle
this.

258
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,920
Bring me my swords, Uncle...

259
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,800
..a duel.

260
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,720
Perhaps we better avoid parties.
But come on,

261
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,600
how much trouble could Pushkin get
into at dinner? Really?

262
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,120
And then Pushkin tells the police
officer,

263
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,400
"Hey, those aren't my trousers."

264
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,080
LAUGHING

265
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,160
A delightful story.

266
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,040
You are funny, Pushkin.

267
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,240
You make me sound like a buffoon
and you are terrible at anecdotes.

268
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,000
I demand a duel.

269
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,560
Definitely not dinner. Hmm.

270
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:53,520
Oh, the theatre. After last time?

271
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,920
That play was terrible.

272
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,560
How could you tell? You were
shouting all the way through.

273
00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,760
Rude!

274
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,240
A duel.

275
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,040
How many duels has Pushkin gotten
himself into now?

276
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,600
21 and counting.

277
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:07,880
Who wants a duel?

278
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,800
A duel with this entire group of
people.

279
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,800
A duel right now.

280
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,960
Civelle. Oh, hey, Pushkin.

281
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,880
A duel.

282
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,360
You know what?

283
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,320
Maybe we don't invite Pushkin.

284
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,720
Hey, gang, what we up to tonight?

285
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,960
Um... Hold that thought. I got a
duel.

286
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,320
You there, prepare to...
GUNSHOTS

287
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,080
Oh! Oh, uh.

288
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:35,560
Greatest friends,

289
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,520
I have been killed by a duel.

290
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,520
Who could have foreseen such an end
for me?

291
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,600
Um...

292
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,520
Everyone? Yeah, literally everyone.

293
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,240
You're always fighting people.

294
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,640
How dare you speak to me like that.

295
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,040
I challenge you both to a d...

296
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,000
Dinner? Oh, yeah.

297
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,680
Bonjour, I am Frederic Cournet,
French war hero,

298
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,960
and I am fighting a duel against
Emmanuel Barthelemy...

299
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,600
..because I said some naughty things
about him that he did not like.

300
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,320
My tip for you is to fight your
duelling rival

301
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,040
like a gentleman.

302
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,880
GUNSHOT
Ah! I missed.

303
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,600
But he still has a loaded gun

304
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,200
and tradition says that I cannot
fire again.

305
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,040
So, if I'm honest with you,

306
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,000
it does not look good for me.

307
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,840
Hey, my gun does not work.

308
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,480
That sounds like good news.

309
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,440
But, as a gentlemen, I must allow my
rival to take his turn,

310
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,280
so I will lend him my gun.

311
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,280
Oh, thank you very much.

312
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,040
Hi, guys. Hey.

313
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:50,520
So, I will assume the position.
LAUGHING

314
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,680
But of course, he is also a
gentleman,

315
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,640
so he will deliberately miss.

316
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,840
It is the honourable thing to...Ah!
GUNSHOT

317
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,800
Huh.

318
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:03,480
Maybe being a gentleman is not
all it is cracked up to be.

319
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:07,640
SINGING: I won the duel, you silly,
silly boy.

320
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,320
Barthelemy wins by total knockout.

321
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,720
Remember to follow me at...

322
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,880
It is a pun, a play on words.

323
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,120
Sometimes the fiercest beefs in
history

324
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,280
weren't just between the actual
rivals themselves.

325
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,920
Their fans also got involved.

326
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:31,120
Believe it or not, there was quite
a bit of fan-feuding

327
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,040
in the world of 18th-century opera.

328
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:38,400
Basically, picture the Swifties going
up against the Stylers,

329
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,520
but with bigger wigs and more
hissing.

330
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,560
Oh!

331
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,240
Oh, Lord Beddingham,

332
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,200
I am so looking forward to this
opera.

333
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,040
I couldn't agree more, Lady Rupoll,

334
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,680
there's so much to enjoy.

335
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,640
The singing, the drama, the
artistry. So true.

336
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,080
But most of all, what I love

337
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,520
is cheering on my favourite opera
singer, Francesca Cuzzoni,

338
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,480
as she crushes her rival, Faustina
Bordoni.

339
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,200
CHANTING: Cuzzoni! Cuzzoni! Cuzzoni!

340
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,480
Oh, I love my girl, Cuzzoni, she's
so much better than that

341
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,160
screeching, rubbish Faustina. Ugh!

342
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,600
CHANTING: We hate you, Faustina, we
do!

343
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,360
Don't look now, Lord Beddingham,

344
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,360
but there's a couple of Faustina
fans on the approach.

345
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:27,000
Well, if it isn't the KLUTZ-zoni
squad. Oh! Good one.

346
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,400
Yeah, OK.

347
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,320
Hi there, FRAUD-stinas.

348
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,720
I'll have you know that Faustina is
the future of opera singing.

349
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,280
She's modern, she's agile,

350
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,960
and she can sing fast, challenging
music.

351
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,360
And your Cuzzoni is just a slow
has-been.

352
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,560
How dare you? She's a classic.

353
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,760
I've heard that Cuzzoni is so
uncooperative,

354
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,200
that Handel had to threaten to throw
her out the window

355
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,480
to get her to do anything.

356
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,360
I'll throw you out the window in a
second.

357
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,200
And my son, Horace, says she's short
and squat with a dough crust face.

358
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,480
You're short and squat with a
dough crust face.

359
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,920
Hey, don't say that. Why not?

360
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,520
Because you're my wife, and it's
hurtful.

361
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,080
When Faustina comes out on stage,
I'm going to hiss at her.

362
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,640
Every time Cuzzoni gets on stage,
I'm going to hiss at her.

363
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,360
HISSING

364
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,240
You hiss like Faustina sings.

365
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,280
Absolute rubbish, mate. Oi, what?
Hold me back.

366
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,960
CHANTING: Oh, you're going home in a
horse-drawn ambulance.

367
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,920
GASPING
Look, over there.

368
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,440
It's Cuzzoni and Faustina.

369
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,400
CHANTING: You're good at opera,
you're good at opera.

370
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,400
Oh, no, it's those weird opera fans
who think we hate each other.

371
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,880
Well, we have to pretend.

372
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,240
This rivalry's great for selling
tickets.

373
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,680
Oh, I hate you, Faustina!

374
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,360
You tell her, Cuzzoni!

375
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,280
Not as much as I hate you.

376
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,960
CHANTING: We love you, Faustina, we
do!

377
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,680
We love you, Faustina, we do!

378
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,600
Oh, I love a bit of opera.

379
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,440
Figaro, Figaro, Figaro, Figaro.

380
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,120
Oh!
CAT SCREECHING

381
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,480
Oh, ugh!

382
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,640
Cattus!

383
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,280
Never appreciated art, that cat.

384
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,720
Well, married couples really did
fight

385
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,800
over those rival opera singers.

386
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:04,720
But then, sadly, sometimes even
the best of friends can fall out

387
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,840
and become frenemies.

388
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,040
As King Henry II found out

389
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,840
when he decided to make his friend,
Thomas Becket,

390
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,800
the Archbishop of Canterbury,
in 1162.

391
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,040
That did not end well. Mm, mm, mm.

392
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,120
Henry number two here, calling
broseph number one.

393
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,800
And have I got some news for you?

394
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,600
Oh, I've done it.

395
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,520
I've made you, Thomas Becket,

396
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,160
my bestest bud in the whole wide
world,

397
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,360
Archbishop of Canterbury.

398
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:41,760
Or should that be Archbishop of
BANTER-bury? Am I right?

399
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,920
Henners, oh, you have no idea how
much this means to me.

400
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,800
Running this church comes before
everything.

401
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,720
Oh, some papers from you.

402
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,400
I'll get straight on them, boss.

403
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,320
Well, you're not really my boss
now, are you?

404
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,880
It's the big man upstairs.

405
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,240
But you'll always be my bestie.

406
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,640
BABY CRYING
I've just, um, sorry. I'm...

407
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,480
No, I'm not sad, um, I promise.

408
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,640
I'm very happy.

409
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,760
Trish, can you help me with this?
Trish?

410
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,040
Bro, Tom,

411
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,520
um, you know, the whole point
of giving you the church job

412
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,040
was so you'd run it, sort of, how I
wanted.

413
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,840
Could you maybe start doing
that, please?

414
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,640
Thanks.

415
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:20,880
I'm really hurt.

416
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,080
I assumed I got this job because you
thought I'd be good at it,

417
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,040
not because you thought that I'd
just do whatever you said.

418
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,080
Back it up.

419
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,240
BABY LAUGHING
Don't... No.

420
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,800
I'm not supposed to be happy, I'm
supposed to be moody.

421
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,800
Trish, help me with this.

422
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,880
Tommy, dude, the whole point of me
changing the rules

423
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,640
so clergymen could be tried in my
courts, not your church courts,

424
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,320
was to increase my power and raise
me money.

425
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,400
If you undo that, you are costing me
big time.

426
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,440
Hurry up, Henry! Got to go.

427
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,520
I'm giving young Henry a bit of a
coronation.

428
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,200
Look, I'll talk to you when you're
back.

429
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,880
Still BFFs and all that, you know.

430
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,840
Love you, blah, blah, blah.

431
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,240
Honestly, no-one rid me of this
turbulent priest?

432
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,200
He's becoming a right pain in my
royal butt.

433
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,800
That's weird.

434
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,400
Where they going? You know that
thing's still on?

435
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,880
Oh, no!

436
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,880
So, Henry, it's come to this. Open
up in the name of the King.

437
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,360
You send your knights to arrest me

438
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,160
cos you're too chicken to face me
yourself.

439
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,400
Well, open the door, Trish.

440
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,000
I've got nothing to be afraid of.

441
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Right. Come here.
HE SCREAMS

442
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
These knights are really scary.
Quiet you.

443
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,480
No. Henry, send help.

444
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,920
DOG BARKING
Oh, not that again.

445
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,560
Trish!

446
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,120
Hey, Becket, dude.

447
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:44,400
To be honest, I'm not sure you'll
get this where you are.

448
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,080
I just wanted to say super soz about
what happened

449
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,120
with, you know, my knights killing
you.

450
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,040
But, on the plus side, I hear the
Pope's making you a saint,

451
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,160
which is... Wow.

452
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,000
And, yeah, maybe I'll dedicate that
new London bridge

453
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,560
I'm thinking of building, to you.

454
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,160
So...we good?

455
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,840
Yeah?

456
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,800
Please don't haunt me.

457
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,480
Cool.

458
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,160
Oh. Ah!

459
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,320
Eleanor, how do I change the filter?

460
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,720
This summer comes a rivalry

461
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,800
65 million years in the making.

462
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,000
Two dinosaur-bone hunters,

463
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,920
Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel
Charles Marsh,

464
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,640
are the best of friends.

465
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,480
I'm going to name this dinosaur
Ptyonius marshii.

466
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,760
Oh, after me?

467
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,320
Well, I'm naming this one after you.

468
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,160
HE GASPS
It's called Edward? Uh, no.

469
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,400
Mosasaurus copeanus.

470
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,840
Oh, well, I guess that's good too.

471
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,080
Thank you, friend.

472
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,840
But when Cope takes his friend to a
quarry in New Jersey

473
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,320
searching for fossils,

474
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,880
a rivalry is born.

475
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,480
What?

476
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,920
POUNDING FOOTSTEPS

477
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,280
I've got a bone to pick with you.

478
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,800
You asked the quarry workers

479
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,520
to tell you about their fossil finds
before me.

480
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,600
You can't prove a thing.

481
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,560
Mr Marsh, we discovered something.
Shh!

482
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,520
And you asked us to tell you before
we told him.

483
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,040
A betrayal that leads to fierce
competition.

484
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,600
Well, I had to rush it, but I've
done it.

485
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,280
My drawing of a Elasmosaurus

486
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,200
has been printed in a very important
journal.

487
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,920
Shame you put the head at the wrong
end.

488
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,120
Oh, my reputation!

489
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,240
I'll have to try and buy up all the
copies,

490
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,840
just so nobody can see my shame.

491
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,160
When a friendship becomes a rivalry,

492
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,960
strife finds a way.

493
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:45,520
Dear sir, I have a story for your
newspaper

494
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,560
about a certain Edward Drinker Cope.

495
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,080
Oh, and I don't suppose you know
where I can hire a spy?

496
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:56,800
How dare you spy on me? Well, what
are you doing right now?

497
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,840
Rivalry in tooth and claw.

498
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,160
It'll be DINO-mite.

499
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,040
We Royals were also prone to the odd
rivalry,

500
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,520
which meant things could get a bit
icky between us.

501
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,040
And by icky, I mean massive
invasion-y.

502
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,040
Although, of course, it never had
anything to do with me.

503
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,760
Sorting out the beefs of the past...

504
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,920
Pharaoh Khufu, don't tell me how to
run my great courtroom.

505
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,440
I don't tell you how to build a
great pyramid.

506
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,480
..with the justice of today.

507
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,240
Although, pointy side up, just
saying.

508
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,280
Welcome to...

509
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,200
Empress Dowager Cixi of the Qing
Dynasty, China,

510
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,960
is going up against her frenemy and
royal rival Queen Victoria,

511
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,560
regarding a rebellion taking place in
China in 1899.

512
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,800
Right, now, you might be the
combined rulers

513
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,720
of over 800 million people,

514
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,640
but in this courtroom, I'm in
charge.

515
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,360
Now, Empress, what's the issue?

516
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:57,680
We're having a slight disagreement

517
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,960
about how her country won't stop
invading mine.

518
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,080
Oh, here we go.

519
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,880
Uh, talking. Shh!

520
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,240
It all started with the Boxers. Oh,
I love boxers.

521
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,120
Let's get ready to Rinder. No, no,
no.

522
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,600
Not that kind of boxer, babe.

523
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,200
The Boxers are a secret society of
people in China,

524
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,920
and they started a rebellion.

525
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,440
Now Britain is using that as an
excuse to invade.

526
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,680
Ha, ha, ha! Classic us.

527
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,920
So, I sent telegrams to Queen
Victoria,

528
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,200
reminding her of our special
connection.

529
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,760
We're both older leaders, ruling
over vast populations.

530
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,520
She is obsessed with me.

531
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,560
Apparently, she has a portrait of me
in her room. Just a small one.

532
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,800
You see? Well, at least I run my
empire.

533
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,120
You have hardly anything to do with
your country's decisions.

534
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:43,840
I am just as much of an empress
as you are.

535
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,560
Then will you stop invading my
country and stealing things?

536
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,240
Oh, how dare you? I do not steal
things.

537
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,880
Oh, yeah? Tell him about the dog.

538
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,120
SHE GASPS
What about the dog?

539
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,280
Well, your lovely Rinder-sty,

540
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,960
one of my returning soldiers

541
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,600
brought me back a darling little
Pekinese from China,

542
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:03,840
which it just so happened, had been
looted from her palace.

543
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,920
But how was I to know it had been
looted?

544
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,920
They called the dog Looty.

545
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,480
Yeah, maybe she likes playing the
lute?

546
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,160
She stole the dog from me. I want a
dog from her.

547
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,360
What? Give me a dog.

548
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,520
Right, we're obviously not going to
sort this out today.

549
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,840
I suggest we adjourn and come back
tomorrow.

550
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,000
No, soz, babes. I'm not available
tomorrow.

551
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,440
Why on earth not? We're invading
China.

552
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,280
You see? Unbelievable.

553
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:29,960
So, if we've learned anything,

554
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,480
it's that rivalries don't often lead
to things improving.

555
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,920
And that's why Cattus and I have made
up.

556
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,040
Oh, strokey, strokey.

557
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,880
BFFs forever.

558
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:45,720
Yes, it's always better to settle
your differences in a friendly way.

559
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,760
Not that these two ever paid any
attention to that.

560
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:53,120
Royal rivals King Philip II of
Spain and Queen Elizabeth I

561
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:56,080
continued to annoy each other
throughout their lives

562
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,400
in pretty much any way they could.

563
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,600

king of Spain

564
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,560

England I reign

565
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,320


566
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,240

gone

567
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,080

perfect fit

568
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,080

Catholic bit

569
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,920

can be friends

570
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,800


571
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,960


572
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:41,720

it's an easy decision

573
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,440

religion

574
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,400

my chances

575
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,320

romances

576
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,080

both of us

577
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,760

I can cause a fuss

578
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,880

empire, I can deploy, yeah

579
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:05,720

just to annoy ya.

580
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:06,760
Yeah

581
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,440


582
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,200


583
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,200

your treasure

584
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,200

measure

585
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,880

Catholic plots

586
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,960

Queen of the Scots

587
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,680

me much

588
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,720

with the Dutch

589
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,400

Spanish Armada

590
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:39,440

gonna have to try harder.

591
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,240
Ha, ha, ha. Yeah.

592
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,200

to be a threat

593
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,880

bit of debt

594
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,680

own fleet

595
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,600

retreat

596
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,480

gonna end?

597
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,480

could have been friends

598
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,440

hostilities cease

599
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,320

work out peace

600
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,280


601
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,000


602
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,240


603
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,040


604
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,120


605
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:19,960


606
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:24,440